Kim Jong Il
Dato:05-07-2006 10:55
Emne:We are very dissatisfied with your delivered munitions...

Attention JAS,

 

As you may have heard! - we are now the laughing stock for the entire non-communistic world.

 

We proceeded according to schedule with our long range missle tests yesterday but our long range Taepodong-2 missile, delivered by JAS had a serious malfunction after only 35 seconds.

 

Our only nuclear munitions technician has just explaind to me, that the malfunction was caused by an "overclocked build-in nuclear fission reactor prototype rocket engine" delivering the thrust for the missile. As the plotted course, trajectory and careful flight-programming of the missile did not take the overclocked engine into account, the entire mission for the missile was conducted in 35 seconds instead of the intended 1.35 hours of flight.

 

There is no way to express our dissatisfaction.

 

Kim Jong II

 

PS. Send a new missile at once.

Svar:

Dear Mr. Kim,

 

Here at JAAS we do not take kindly to being critized unjustly.

 

If you read the specifications and design manual for the delivered missile you will find precise descriptions of the interfaces necessary to communicate properly with the overclocked reactor control systems for the primary thrust assembly.

Your technicians were made explicitly aware of this when the missile was delivered.

 

We cannot be held accountable for any incompetence on your part and your criticism of JAAS on the international scene has just cost us a major order with China.

We will not accept any further orders from your country until you publicly apologize for the derogatory remarks you have made about JAAS.

 

On behalf of Jydsk Atomkraft, Inc

 

Jens W. Johannsen
Consultant, Strategic Weapons Division

 

PS: A new missile has been sent. It is on course and tracking is optimal. Expect "delivery" at your location within the hour.